With the beginning of the new football season, I thought it would be appropriate timing to say a few words. I can assume that some people reading this will not give a shit about football, and some will live and breath it. Like most things in life, you get a fair spread of lovers and haters. Except for the Arctic Monkeys, who everyone knows are rubbish……..just joking…….but not really….no seriously just a joke……………………………..but not really.
Here are a few things I like about football fashion over the years.
1) Cycling shorts under your shorts. Different colour, allegedly to keep your muscles from being pulled. This of cause is rubbish, as I pulled my own muscle plenty of times as a teenage boy in cycling shorts.
2) Wearing your shin pads on the outside of your socks, and then confusingly folding the socks back over them. Why you would want to show off you shin pads, is beyond me. Yet all the cool boys that were good at football did it, so I copied them.
3) Turning your collar up. Now this only works if you have the nonchalant, don’t give a shit, attitude of a French genius, for everyone else it just looked like they forgot to fold their collar down.
4)Umbro shorts. Still to this day, decent.
5) The plaster Robbie Fowler put on his nose. “To help him breath”….Looks like he lost a fight. I’m pretty sure it was the booze and fags that made it difficult to breath, not the lack of a plaster.
6) Vicks vapor rub smeared all over your shirt, Again, to “help your breathing”. looks like a team mate sneezed (or worse) over your chest, in the changing room.
7) Short shorts. See John Barnes here showing us how short his shorts used to be, looking like he went out to play football in speedos.
8) Tasteful goalkeeper tops. Think you would agree a kinda Fresh Prince vibe going on there. Also the phrase ‘Sick’, could be taken literally here…..puked on by a rainbow.
9) haircuts. Dear god. Best thing is, over the years, they haven’t got any better. Most Footballers really are just chavs... Which is why, I'm surprised I like it so much. Watching 11 overpaid chavs with shit hair, crap tattoos and a bad attitude running around kicking a bit of leather. I might start watching Darts, much less chavy.
10) Peter Beardsley. He is the one with his bollocks out.
Incidentally we sell old football tops in our Eld Lane store, although there are a lot of German strips, which being a good honest Englishmen, I probably wouldn’t wear... but you could. See how I cleverly turned it into what we sell? They are only £10., and that’s a bargain, I think you would agree.